Breasts: They’re great, aren’t they? They feed our children, they fill the bikinis of millions of wonderful women and sometimes they even save lives. Here are ten heartwarming stories about the power of boobs.
1) Breast Implants Save Life in Bombing
The political situation in Israel and Palestine is a topic way too complex to cover in a silly article about breasts, so let’s gloss over the reasons for the Hezbollah rocket attack that sent shrapnel into a young woman’s chest in 2006. Instead, we’ll talk about what saved her life: a pair of silicone breast implants. The artificial hooters managed to slow the shrapnel down enough that it didn’t pass through her ribcage and into her heart, saving her life. She was taken to a hospital in Nahariya and treated, with doctors publicly commenting that it was her breasts that were responsible for the lessened nature of her injuries. Her implants did have to be replaced, though.
2) PornHub’s “Save the Boobs” Campaign
If you’re thinking of industries in which boobs play a big part, adult entertainment is right up there. So when online smut merchants PornHub decided to get into the charity game, they did it with a unique sense of style. For the entire month of October 2012, the site donated one penny for every 30 videos watched in the “big tit” and “small tit” categories. That doesn’t seem like a lot, but people watch a lot of porn, and it added up to a staggering $75,000. That cash went to a number of different organizations promoting breast cancer research and awareness.
3) Topless Anti-ISIS Protest
ISIS (the acronym for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, a militant Islamic terrorist group) is a real danger in the modern world, so it’s not surprising that a number of groups have been speaking out in protest. One of the most unusual came from FEMEN, an all-female group dedicated to fighting patriarchy in all its forms. In 2014, they organized a crazy protest in Paris where they marched topless through the streets wielding plastic assault rifles with slogans painted on their chests. Whether all this nudity actually did anything to stem the tide of religious extremism is up for debate.
4) Breast Implants Stop a Bullet
Militaries around the world are spending millions to develop new materials to repel bullets, but they could have just covered tanks with boobs if they read this next story. In 2006, a Canadian woman named Eileen Likness was out for a drive with her boyfriend when the pair got into an argument. It escalated to the point that Likness kicked him out of the car in the small town of Okotoks. He got out, but then two shots rang out, with one entering Eileen’s right breast. The bullet was deflected in a one in a million occurrence when her silicone breast implant changed its trajectory, letting it pass out of the other side of her chest instead of through her ribcage. Police arrested the boyfriend after he broke into an elderly couple’s home and held them at gunpoint.
5) Model Paints With Boobs for Charity
Sugey Abrego isn’t just a pretty face; she also has a big heart-and a large chest in which to contain that big heart. Abrego, a Mexican model who has appeared in that country’s Playboy magazine as well as on dozens of TV shows, joined up with a breast cancer group called “Painted in Your Health” to auction off some very unique abstract paintings. Instead of using brushes to create these works, Abrego dipped her hooters in a rainbow of color and mashed them against pieces of paper. We can’t find information as to how much Abrego’s chest artworks sold for, but we’re sure they fetched a pretty penny.
6) Boob Aid
Let’s head over to Japan for this next heart-warming story of boobs in action. In August 2014, a group of nine pornographic actresses assembled for an event dubbed Boob Aid, where they raised over $37,500 for AIDS prevention. Over 41,000 men paid a thousand yen each to have the opportunity to gently caress and fondle the breasts of their choice (after spraying their hands with sanitizer, of course). The event is a tradition in Japan, with the 2014 Boob Aid being the 13th. It was also aired on cable TV for gropers who couldn’t make it to the event, but still wanted to watch.
7) Huge Breasts Save Women in Car Crash
Sheyla Hershey‘s breasts are probably the largest on this list. The Brazilian-born model and housewife had her natural Bs augmented to an absolutely insane 38KKK bra size, and it may have been those massive mounds that saved her life. In 2012, she was driving to her Houston, Texas, home after a Super Bowl party when she lost control of her Ford Mustang and smashed into a tree by the side of the road. Hershey, who had been drinking at the party and wasn’t wearing a seat belt, was thrown forward into the steering column. Her boobs acted as a natural airbag, however, preventing additional damage to her ribcage.
8) Motorboating for Cancer Research
There are so many sexual acts with weird words that it’s hard to keep track of them all, but “motorboating” is pretty simple. You put your face in between a lady’s breasts and waggle it from side to side while vibrating your lips to make a “brrrrrr” noise. It’s fun! But can it also do good for the world? In 2013, a YouTube channel called “Simple Pickup” that typically presented how-to videos for dudes looking to hit on girls created a video that promised cash donations for women willing to be motorboated on camera. They pulled in $7,000 for the stunt.
9) Katy Perry Donates Breast Mold
You can’t deny that Katy Perry‘s rapid rise to fame wasn’t at least in part due to her truly spectacular rack, so when she had a chance to raise money for cancer charity “Keep-A-Breast” by selling a plaster cast of her sweater puppies, she jumped at the opportunity. In 2008, Perry made the cast (and the creator needed to make extra plaster to accommodate her breasts) and it sold to a devoted fan in 2009 for $3000. It’s not known what the lucky buyer did after he took the cast home.
10) Boob Wallpaper for Charity
Are you renovating your house and need a real conversation piece? Why not consider investing in a room’s worth of boob wallpaper, created by British artist Sam Pooley. In 2013, Pooley put out a call for women who were willing to have their ta-tas photographed for a charity project, and hundreds responded. The final project was a collaged design for wallpaper that incorporates bare breasts of every size, age and ethnicity, including grandmothers, models and cancer survivors. Proceeds from sale of the wallpaper go to cancer charity Coppafeel.