Love Is Blind’s Cole Barnett and Zanab Jaffrey’s Ups and Downs

Credit: Patrick Wymore/Netflix © 2022

Love Is Blind’s Cole Barnett and Zanab Jaffrey’s Ups and Downs: From Falling in Love to Fighting On Screen

Not a fairy tale. Despite falling in love in the pods, Love Is Blind stars Cole Barnett and Zanab Jaffrey’s relationship was anything but a happy ending. “I think if he has questions [about why we broke up] he could definitely pick up the phone and ask,” the flight attendant exclusively told Us Weekly in November 2022 ahead of the Netflix series’ dramatic season 3 finale. “I would love to clear up anything for him. I tried to be very clear at the altar [about] exactly why I was leaving and why it was a no.” Cole and Zanab bonded over their shared faith before he popped the question without ever seeing what his potential future wife looked like. Once they left the pods, however, their emotional connection wasn’t enough to help their relationship survive the tumult of the real world. The first major road block came when Cole’s parents refused to attend the wedding — or even meet their son’s then-fiancée. Tensions escalated further when the real estate agent admitted that he was more attracted to fellow cast member Colleen Reed than he was to Zanab. His comments angered both Zanab and Colleen’s now-husband, Matt Bolton, particularly after Cole rated the PR strategist a “10 out of 10,” but only gave Zanab a “9 out of 10.” As he watched the season play out, Cole exclusively told Us Weekly he regretted his behavior. [jwplayer RaYfaFso-zhNYySv2] “I mean, it’s really hard just remembering everything,” he confessed in November 2022. “Everything that just feels out of character for me and that I’m like, ‘I didn’t feel that way. I don’t know why it came across that way.’ I mean, the rating women thing was really ridiculous to watch. I thought that was very disgusting to even be rating people. Like, that’s just ridiculous.” In the days leading up to their wedding, the twosome frequently bickered. Zanab appeared to reach her breaking point after her then-fiancé asked whether she was bipolar in the middle of an argument. She ultimately broke things off at the altar, telling Cole that she felt disrespected by him. “It’s not like that was the first time he ever had any of those things said to him, but it was the first time he had to listen to me and he couldn’t dismiss me up there,” she told Us of the breakup. “He couldn’t question me up there. He had to let me speak. I stand by everything I said and I will clear up anything for him if he would like to speak to me about it.” She continued: “I walked away from him. I never expected an apology. I think a sincere apology would require an emotional maturity level that he just might not be at yet. I never expected it. I also don’t need one because I did forgive him. I forgave him the moment I walked away from him.” Keep scrolling to see all of Cole and Zanab’s ups and downs since the pods:

Credit: Patrick Wymore/Netflix © 2022

In the Pods

The pair fell in love in the pods while filming season 3 of Love Is Blind in May 2021. “Cole, I don’t care what you look like, I would love to be your wife,” Zanab told him at the time. “I hope [to] have, like, a very long life together with just, like, so much happiness with you.”

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The Proposal

Cole popped the question before the duo met face-to-face, gushing that he was surprised by his feelings for the London native. “I couldn’t be happier to be in this pod right now. I could go on and on and on about how I’m falling in love with you,” he said during his proposal. “I could talk about the life that I see with you of us traveling together and having kids together. I could tell you how damn attracted I am to you without ever even seeing you.”

He continued: “I definitely wouldn’t have found you outside of here. I don’t think you’re the type of girl I would’ve gone for, but I feel like you’re exactly the type of girl that I needed to go for. I love you.”

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Back to the Real World

Tensions between the pair first arose during their engagement trip to Malibu, where Zanab felt that Cole was ignoring her. “I think in the ideal world with a fiancé that you just got engaged to, like, you’d wake up [and] you’d have a really sweet morning, like, just a little coffee [and] breakfast in bed, holding one another,” she said during a confessional in season 3. “Cole just kind of rolled out of bed and got right out of bed and then didn’t really talk to me for a couple hours. As a woman, I think it’s very easy to get in your head about those things. Like, ‘Hey, what changed?’ ‘What did I do?’ ‘Is it me?’ At this point, I don’t even know if he’s physically into me.”

Her fears were seemingly confirmed when Cole admitted to Colleen — whom he also dated in the pods — that she was the kind of woman he would approach in a real-life scenario. He later unfavorably compared Zanab to the ballet dancer, who he thought was a perfect “10” on a scale of attractiveness.

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A Lack of Support

The former couple also hit a road block when Cole’s parents refused to attend their wedding or even appear on the show to meet Zanab. “My family, all they could ever do is want to love and support me and they just didn’t sign up to be in this experiment, I did,” he told Us in November 2022. “And so then to see, like, you know, the way that I was struggling with them at the time, it’s just hard to watch that too because I care most about my family and this experiment should not have damaged that relationship.”

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They Don’t

Zanab broke things off at the altar, where she explained that she felt the Texas native had “shattered [her] self-confidence” throughout their relationship. “[I] tried to bring up those concerns … multiple times [before the wedding],” she told Us. [But] I was dismissed. It was deflected to me having a bad attitude and not being sweet enough and not having fun conversations, [being] passive aggressive. My mental health was questioned. So, I definitely did try [to tell him].”

Though Zanab felt that she had made her feelings clear, Cole told Us in November 2022 that he felt “blindsided” by her rejection. “I’m working through it now. … We need to talk,” he argued. “I have a lot of questions for her.”

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Reality TV Regrets

After season 3 hit Netflix, the former youth pastor confessed that he regretted comparing his former fiancée to another woman. “Everything that just feels out of character for me and that I’m like, ‘I didn’t feel that way. I don’t know why it came across that way,'” Cole told Us in November 2022. “I mean, the rating women thing was really ridiculous to watch. I thought that was very disgusting to even be rating people. Like, that’s just ridiculous.”

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‘The Cuties Incident’

The fighting continued long after filming wrapped, with Zanab claiming during the season 3 reunion special that Cole’s alleged body-shaming contributed to her decision to walk away. “The pushing food away from me, the asking me if I’m going to eat that, trying to get me to order a salad, the daily comments about my face and my body were not used,” she said, adding that it was Cole’s “saving grace” that footage of those incidents wasn’t shown. “And that’s great because it really did protect you and you are now denying it and calling me a liar in front of all these people.”

In one case, she claimed that Cole questioned her decision to eat two clementines before they went out to dinner. He denied her claims, telling producers to air the footage if they had it — which they did. In the clip, which was shown at the end of the reunion special, Cole asks Zanab whether she wanted to eat both fruits before their meal. “You better save your [appetite] … I’m talking, [big] supper tonight,” he said, getting confused when she said she only had a banana to eat all day. “Oh, are you getting wedding dress bod?”

Zanab also claimed at the reunion that Cole tried to get another woman’s number during the boys’ engagement party. “You’re the one who told me that the night before our wedding. … I saw you before the wedding and you told me. You said, ‘I do have something to tell you. I tried to kiss a girl at the bachelor party,'” she alleged, which Cole denied.

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November 2022

“I sure hope I didn’t shatter her self-confidence,” Cole told Us in November 2022 when asked about what. Zanab told him on their wedding day. “But, for sure, I see where she’s coming from and … why she would’ve felt that way.”

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November 2022

Following the dramatic reunion, many of the women stood up for Zanab after she accused Cole of body-shaming. “There will be no apology from me. There are multiple reasons why we stuck by her,” Alexa Alfia wrote via her Instagram Story in November 2022. “We spent almost every day together so I will not take advice from anyone who was not there. There are two sides to the story and I still stand by what I said. The clementine story is irrelevant.”

She continued: “I don’t like bullies and I will always stand for those who are in the right. It’s truly heartbreaking to see how low and disgusting the internet can be. I hope you feel better after commenting such vile things.”

Zanab shared a post about the situation via Instagram after the reunion. “Cole, I fought for us until I couldn’t anymore. I know you know that,” she wrote at the time. “I know you know why I said what I said. I know you know what you did. It’s ok if you aren’t ready to talk about that yet.” She concluded her post, “One thing about me, I choose my words carefully and I stand by everything I said.”