Love & Dating Why women need to pay on first dates
Should women pay on a first date, or leave it entirely to men?
Aside how to behave during a first date, the issue of how to pay for the outing generates quite a lot of debate.
When men used to pay
For such a long time, it was men who picked up the tabs after first dates. They did so that first time and on virtually every date afterwards.
In that traditional outlook, it did not matter who asked for the date or who extended the invite, the man would always pay. That was the realm older generations operated in.
In this generation and time of the progressive, forward-thinking millennial, there is now an overwhelming support of the idea that he who initiates or asks for the date should pay.
While this sounds like a departure from the norm, there’s really not much difference in practice.
This is because the rising frequency of women shooting their shots, it is guys who ask for dates most of the times, so it is they who fund the fun.
One major problem that has arisen from allowing men pay for dates is the entitlement to sexual benefits
And it is in order to not foster the continuity of this culture that every self-respecting woman needs to really become ready to pick up their own tabs. It should not matter who asked for the date.
Why women should pay for dates
Many guys offer women dates and have no qualms paying. However, they do so with an implied, unsaid condition that some favour – mostly sexual – will be exchanged for the date.
Remember Twitter’s finest, Pablo Ayodeji, whose name everyone sang for days when he trended during the #KeepTheChangeBae wahala in 2017.
The Twitter user, embattled till date, had taken another Twitter user on a date in March 2017, and became angry when the lady turned down his offer for a relationship.
In that instance, he had hoped to exchange the date for a relationship. In many other cases, it is sex that guys expect after paying for a date. It does not matter that it was expensive or as cheap as #3800.
If there’s any reason why women should offer, and maybe insist on paying for your own food or drinks on first dates, it is to avoid this type of awkward situation.
And it is not enough to just make a show of trying to get your purse, hoping to hear the guy say “don’t bother.”
You should genuinely come prepared with vex money even if the guy had given his word that he’d pay.
Besides, first dates are usually about knowing each other and just getting conversations going.
It does not hurt to give off the first impression of a self-sufficient woman.
That way, the guy gets to know that making yourself available for that date and pursuing that friendship is a well-thought choice, not some hunger-driven endeavour.
While it’s difficult to say no to free stuff and most women just genuinely want to be spoilt [no problem with this to be honest], never forget that there’ll actually be time for other dates if that first one goes well.
There’ll likely be enough opportunities for him to spoil you rotten.
That first time though, let the tone be set, and quite emphatically, that while you appreciate and even delight in your men doing stuff for you and pampering you silly, you can quite do them on your own without a man’s largesse.
That doesn’t sound like a bad idea now, does it?