Parenting and marriage—two pillars many of us rely on—have been shifting in unexpected ways over the past few years. Chinyere Wilfred, a seasoned actress from Nollywood, recently opened up about these changes. Her thoughts aren’t just from a distance; they come mixed with personal reflection and a pinch of doubt that makes her insights feel quite relatable.
The Shift in Family Stability
Wilfred pointed out something that’s hard to ignore: family life nowadays seems more fragile in some ways. She connects this fragility partly to modern cultural influences, especially those linked to Generation Z. It’s like the roots that once held families strong are loosening. For instance, she mentioned the growing trend of marriages ending quickly, sometimes before major celebrations like the Aso Ebi—the shared outfit worn at Nigerian weddings—are even put to full use.
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In her own experience, Wilfred boasts a marriage that has lasted over three decades. But she’s not bringing up longevity just to boast—it’s more that she’s curious about what’s different now. She wonders, perhaps out loud, if some of the values that kept marriages steady before aren’t as valued anymore, or maybe people don’t have the same kind of patience or perspective as they used to. It’s not an easy topic, and it doesn’t come with neat answers, just a sense that things have changed—maybe faster than we expected.
Parenting: Between Protection and Freedom
The other big topic Chinyere delved into was parenting. Interestingly, her role in the TV drama Sands of Time acted like a mirror, reflecting back her own approach to raising children. Watching herself act as a parent in the series made her rethink how she handles her own kids.
She shared that back in the day—meaning her own childhood and earlier adult years—parenting looked very different. Parents were stricter, more distant perhaps, and less… protective in the way we see now. Today’s Gen Z parents tend to hover more, often out of love, but sometimes without realizing it, might cross into overprotection.
Wilfred recounted a moment of realization when she noticed she might be smothering her son with too much care. Even though her son is a graduate and fully grown, he’s still not allowed to stay out overnight. At first, she thought this was just keeping him safe. But looking closer, she saw it might have been holding him back. It’s a familiar struggle—wanting to keep kids safe while also letting them fly on their own.
This tug of war between shielding children and granting them freedom is something a lot of parents wrestle with. It’s more than a balance, really—it’s a constant dance that sometimes goes offbeat. And honestly, sometimes you’re not even sure if you’re doing more harm than good until you pause and reflect, or, as Wilfred did, watch yourself on screen and suddenly see things differently.
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Old Values Versus New Realities
What I find quite interesting, and maybe a bit challenging, is the gentle tension between old values and new realities that Wilfred touches on. She’s not dismissing the past, nor is she blindly embracing the present. Instead, there’s this ongoing negotiation, a cautious feeling-out of what works now.
Traditional values certainly have their place, especially when it comes to things like marriage longevity and respect for parental authority. But society is different today—the pressures are different, the technology, meanings of connection, and even the dreams of younger generations look new. So, it’s not unexpected that what once worked perfectly may feel out of place now.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just complicated. Wilfred’s reflections invite us to consider that maybe parenting and marriage aren’t one-size-fits-all concepts anymore. They evolve, sometimes uncomfortably, sometimes beautifully, as we figure out what it all means.
Looking at Parenting and Marriage Through a Personal Lens
I can’t help but feel that Wilfred’s story resonates beyond her own experience. There’s something universal in realizing your parenting isn’t flawless, or that marriage isn’t immune to the shifting tides around you. Her honesty about seeing her flaws—especially through an unusual lens like acting—reminds me that self-awareness is hard-earned and deeply personal.
Perhaps it suggests that we all need moments, or mirrors, that show us ourselves more clearly. Whether it’s a role we play, a conversation we have, or just quiet time reflecting—these are the moments that can lead to change, or at least to a softer approach toward ourselves and those we love.
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So while parenting feels more complicated—and marriage maybe more fragile—we’re not necessarily worse at it. We’re just navigating new landscapes, making our way through a maze that didn’t exist before. And maybe the best we can do is stay open to learning and willing to adjust as we go.
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