Photos of Sánchez’s ever-growing collection of inappropriate apparel prompted her guests to dress in similarly gaudy clothing in an effort to win her favor. Meanwhile, many social media users expressed disgust at the stars’ displays of excess during a time when so many people are struggling to make ends meet. Critics noted that the event did not support the argument for the wealthy needing to receive massive tax breaks. Senator Elizabeth Warren commented on X, “If Jeff Bezos can afford to rent Venice for a $50 million wedding, he can afford to pay his fair share in taxes.”
Bezos, Sánchez, and their wealthy guests have clearly demonstrated that their money is being wasted on trying to buy taste, and perhaps they should be contributing more of their wealth to the government.
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Kylie Jenner ignored wedding etiquette with her color choice
Kim Kardashian’s side panels befouled her brown gown
It was the war of the whittled-down waists in Venice, where Kim Kardashian squeezed hers into an archival Versace gown that clung to her curves like Jeff Bezos clings to his cash. The dark brown dress would have been tolerable if not for the scalloped side panels that resembled a colon on an anatomy chart. We don’t even want to imagine what shape Kardashian’s own bowels were contorted into underneath her shapewear.Ivanka Trump should have paved over her floral look
Barbiecore is becoming such a bore, but there was so much pink at Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez’s wedding. Ivanka Trump, who has worn more outfits that missed the mark than you might think, chose a shade of the color that did not complement her skin tone or her far darker lipstick at all. The beadwork on her prom dress created a large blossom design, bringing to mind those poor flowers in the White House Rose Garden that will now have a gloomy view of a concrete slab, thanks to its Mar-a-Lago makeover.
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Kendall Jenner, now starring in The Wedding, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
While many wedding attendees were channeling Glinda the Gaudy Witch in their pink ensembles, Kendall Jenner went for a different Oz color scheme. In her sheer black dress and green jewels, she transformed into the Wicked Witch of the West Hollywood It Girl Urge to Wrestle the Spotlight Away From the Bride on her Wedding Day. Jenner’s underwear appeared to be visible in some photos, which will always be tacky for a wedding, no matter how socially acceptable naked dresses have become. And her emerald jewelry looked like it came from a “Wicked” playset on the toy aisle.
Leonardo DiCaprio looked ready to pull a Jack from Titanic
“The Great Gatsby” star Leonard DiCaprio showed up to Lauren Sánchez and Jeff Bezos’ extravaganza of excess in a baseball cap of shame: a black LA Dodgers hat pulled down low over his eyes. It was not suitable formal apparel, of course, and it was heavily speculated that the environmentalist wore it because he was embarrassed to be seen at an event where the private jet fuel flowed like water. If he were in Jack’s position right then, he probably would have gladly let go of that Titanic door.
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Jewel hit a low note in her high-low dress
Jewel’s foolish fashion games are tearing us apart. The “You Were Meant for Me” singer was one of the more random celebs on Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez’s guest list, and she showed up in a look that was not meant for a wedding. The front of her high-low dress was high enough to be a bit tasteless, and the giant rose was perhaps a tacky attempt to coordinate her outfit with that of Ivanka Trump (in case you’re unaware, the two women are pals, and Jewel even performed at one of Donald Trump’s inauguration events).
Queen Rania was ready to rule over a suburban American kingdom
Queen Rania of Jordan didn’t dust off her best duds for America’s own twisted version of a royal wedding. The muted stripes on her multicolored dress were giving cheap hotel shower curtain, while the gown’s sheer overlay embellished with sparkly floral details resembled curtains from a tween girl’s bedroom. And she covered it all with a bedsheet shawl. Like so many of the wedding guests, she was dressed like a cliché caricature you might see in an indie director’s cinematic sneer at the wealthy.
Jeff Bezos’ accessory choice was downright villainous
Days before his wedding, Jeff Bezos risked embarrassing Lauren Sánchez on their big day by acquiring some tan lines on his bald head. They seemed to be gone by the time he walked down the aisle, but he had another problem: When combined with his black bowtie and the matching buttons on his tux, the tiny lenses of his sunglasses made him look like a budget Bond villain. He also made a major fashion faux pas. “He’s wearing a business vest, which is designed for business suits,” so sayeth esteemed menswear expert and X icon Derek Guy.
Lauren Sánchez’s attempt to look classy for her Vogue cover was a bust
Before her wedding, Lauren Sánchez’s seemingly new face work threatened to ruin her bridal look, but she was all smiles while posing in her Dolce & Gabbana wedding gown on the cover of Vogue. Anna Wintour had
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announced that she was stepping down from her position as the magazine’s editor-in-chief the day before the cover was released, making it seem as though she didn’t want to be associated with the fashion disaster. In a seeming attempt to dress conservatively for the first time ever, Sánchez covered her décolletage with lace but pushed her look into tacky territory with a row of front buttons.
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