Build Yourself First — A Simple Truth About Relationships and Self-Worth

There’s a line I’ve been thinking about since I read Uzor Arukwe’s recent comments: build yourself first before expecting to marry rich. It sounds blunt, and maybe it is. But there’s something honest in that bluntness — not mean, just practical. He wasn’t lecturing so much as offering a point of view that feels worth hearing, especially when it’s dressed up in a movie character people can’t stop talking about.

A character named Odogwu — a rich, caring man from the film Love In Every World 2 — has been getting a lot of praise online. People call him an “ideal man,” a dream partner. Uzor Arukwe, who played him, used that buzz to highlight a separate, quieter idea: the woman he loves, Chioma (played by Bambam), was already valuable on her own before the billionaire decided to support her. And that, he says, matters.

Why that detail stuck with me

There’s a temptation in stories like this to skip to the payoff: someone wealthy swoops in and fixes everything. But the movie — and Arukwe’s reading of it — pointed to something less flashy: Chioma’s own worth. She wasn’t just waiting; she was doing things, showing industry, being someone with a presence and substance. The billionaire didn’t need a long interview to know she was worthwhile. He saw it. And he invested — yes — but the investment seems steadier because it wasn’t fixing an empty space. It was amplifying something already there.

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I think that’s why his message matters. It’s not anti-romance. It’s not a cold checklist. It’s more like a nudge: make yourself someone you’d respect. If that sounds a little self-help-y, maybe it is. Still, it’s a different frame from the “waiting for a rescue” story. It shifts the center of gravity back to you, which is a relief in its odd way.

What “building yourself” actually looks like

This is where people often pause. Build yourself — okay, but what does that mean? There is no one-size-fits-all answer. For some, it’s education or career moves. For others, it’s learning to manage emotions, setting boundaries, or developing skills that make life smoother. It could be financial literacy, or simply learning to trust your own decisions. Often it’s a messy mix: job changes, failed attempts, awkward conversations, and small wins that feel disproportionately big at the time.

The key point is that the “building” is not just outward — like a nicer wardrobe or a better house — though those can matter. It’s inward too. Confidence, competence, the habit of finishing what you start. The kind of worth that doesn’t disappear if a relationship falls apart. That kind of value is quiet, but it’s also the kind that others notice sooner or later.

A slightly awkward truth: people are attracted to people who are themselves
We see this in the story of Odogwu and Chioma. The billionaire didn’t fall for a passive ideal; he saw someone who was active in her life. That’s actually common in real life. People who are engaged, curious, responsible — not perfect, just present — tend to draw people toward them. That doesn’t mean money or resources don’t play a role. Of course they do. But they’re combined with something more basic: presence.

And there’s another nuance I like: valuable people don’t always look the same. You might be someone who loves a steady job and weekday routines. Or you might be a creative who’s never settled into a 9-to-5. Both can be “valuable.” What matters is the investment in your own life. It’s the intention more than the exact path.

How to treat that advice without pressure

This is where I get a little cautious — because advice can sound like a demand. “Build yourself” can feel like another expectation on top of everything else. That’s not helpful. So take the idea as a suggestion, not a command. If you’re already doing things, even small ones, that counts. If you’re exhausted from trying to “be better,” maybe pause and notice one small area to improve that feels doable.

Also, don’t wait to be perfect in order to let someone in. The movie didn’t show Chioma as flawless. She was simply someone who had things of her own. People grow together too. The point Arukwe makes, I think, is that showing up for your life makes you noticeable — and that’s a good kind of magnetism.

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A note about relationships and mutual contribution

Arukwe mentioned that the billionaire didn’t need to ask what Chioma would bring to the marriage — it was already clear. That’s a tiny but important idea: relationships work better when both people bring something. It doesn’t have to be equal in the simplistic sense, and it won’t always be balanced day to day, but each person having agency and contribution matters. When someone sees that in you, they’re more likely to support and complement it — not to replace or overshadow it.

A little messy, but real

If I sound a bit scattered, that’s intentional. Real life is messy. Advice gets messy too. You’ll find yourself agreeing and then changing your mind, like most things that are actually useful. What I like about Arukwe’s takeaway is its modesty. It doesn’t promise that building yourself will guarantee marriage to a billionaire (obviously). It promises something subtler: you’ll be better off, more noticed, and more likely to attract someone who fits into the life you’ve been trying to create.

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So, build something. It can be small. It can be slow. It can be just one steady step after another. And maybe — maybe — the person who ends up sharing the journey with you will be the kind who sees value where you already are, and chooses to add to it.