In a world where career-driven women balance work, relationships, and the occasional existential crisis over a cup of coffee, Nollywood actress Laide Bakare is stirring the pot with an unusual piece of advice: prioritize having children over marriage for the sake of professional success. Yes, you heard that right! During a lively chat on Nollywood On Radio, the 43-year-old star opened up about her unconventional journey, making it clear that when it comes to family and career, your priorities might need a little shake-up.
Breaking Down the Traditional Norms
According to Bakare, if you’re a young woman with dreams of becoming a superstar, you might want to rethink the traditional timeline of life. “If you are aspiring to be a successful superstar as a young girl, I would advise you to get married and have kids early,” she said. Sounds a bit like a plot twist in a romantic comedy, doesn’t it? Instead of tying the knot first, Bakare believes that starting a family can actually provide the practical foundation some women need to focus on their careers later.
It’s almost as if she’s suggesting that being a mom could actually be a career asset—like producing a blockbuster but with diapers instead of script revisions. “I know getting married early may lead to divorce. But I mean starting a family early. Maybe I should retract that because I do not mean marriage. I never thought of marriage when I had my first child; I just wanted a baby,” she elaborated.
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Yes, You Read that Right: A Baby, Not a Ring!
Let’s be real. The thought of having kids while still figuring out your place in the world might sound as chaotic as a toddler on a sugar high. However, Bakare’s perspective stems from her own experience. Remembering her own journey, she emphasizes that marriage isn’t the be-all and end-all it’s often made out to be. The actress, who has been married twice and has a daughter and two sons, suggests that the relationships might not need to come in that traditional order we’ve all been taught to expect.
In a way, Laide’s perspective resonates with many young women today. The pressure to have the perfect career, find the right partner, and raise a family can feel like a three-headed monster that just won’t let you live. By flipping the script—suggesting that you can skip the whole marriage part and dive straight into motherhood—she is encouraging independence and informed choices.
However, she’s quick to clarify that this isn’t a blanket statement for everyone. Not all of us are meant to be single moms, nor should we rush into having kids without careful thought. It’s more about recognizing that marriage is not the gateway to having children; it’s all about the family dynamics you choose to create.
A Slice of Laide’s Life
Laide Bakare’s journey through love and motherhood isn’t just a talking point; it’s a tapestry of life experiences. The actress first tied the knot with her ex-husband, Olumide Kunfulire, with whom she welcomed her daughter Simi in 2008. Fast forward to 2013—she married Lagos socialite Tunde Oriowo, and welcomed two sons into the mix. These chapters of her life have uniquely shaped her perspectives on motherhood and career, cementing her belief in the importance of pursuing your dreams, even if it means flipping conventional timelines on their heads.
Picture this: juggling a bustling film career with motherhood, trying to balance all those emotional complexities so perfectly showcased in films. Laide has definitely donned many hats, but she seems to raise children with the same poise she brings to the camera. It’s almost as if she’s saying, “Why not do it all? Just bring your kids along for the ride!” And considering the immense pressures today’s women face, it’s a refreshing take.
A Light-Hearted Look at Choices
Now, for a sprinkle of humor: Can you imagine trying to explain this new motherhood model to your friends over brunch? “So, ladies, I’ve decided to skip dating altogether and just adopt two toddlers instead. No more swiping right for me!” You can picture the wide-eyed responses, right? It’s a brave new world when your to-do list includes choosing a kindergarten over choosing a wedding venue!
Yet, in the enchanted forest of adult life, not being restricted to societal expectations is incredibly liberating. It turns out that the world doesn’t end if your wedding ring doesn’t come before baby shoes. And perhaps Laide’s commentary is just the rallying cry we didn’t know we needed.
While some may scoff at the idea, it is hard to ignore the practicality behind her argument. So, if you’re contemplating your future as a talented young woman in the industry, maybe you should consider integrating your career aspirations with your family desires—because, who says you can’t have your cake and eat it too?
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Finding Balance in the Chaos
It’s easy to get lost in the chaos of expectations. With folks constantly giving you unsolicited advice about finding the right partner before your “biological clock” starts ticking, Laide’s insights serve as a refreshing reminder that your choices are uniquely yours. Your path can diverge from the straight and narrow while still leading you to success.
After all, just because society draws a roadmap doesn’t mean you have to follow it. Whether you choose to marry or simply dive into motherhood, it’s all about crafting a life that suits you best. As Laide Bakare points out, motherhood can be less about ticking boxes and more about creating your story.
So, the next time someone tells you that you need to get married first, just give them a wink and say, “Laide told me to have kids first. So, who’s in for family planning?”
As we continue navigating this ever-evolving landscape of relationships and careers, Laide Bakare’s voice adds a humorous yet poignant touch to the discussion—reminding us all that life can be a little less about the order and a little more about personal preference.
