As Mark Twain once said, “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, but the size of the fight in the dog”. As comforting as that is, if said tumble is happening in the bedroom, there’s nothing wrong with giving man’s other best friend a little fighting advantage. And we’re not talking about a little blue pill here.
Whatever you’re packing, choosing the right sex position literally can make you feel bigger. Not that size is everything, says Lovehoney’s resident sex expert Annabelle Knight.
“A large penis can give a man sexual confidence, but that can be learned, too,” she says. “The most important factors in satisfying someone sexually come well outside of being well-endowed. It’s worth bearing in mind that the female G-Spot is actually only three inches deep and that the first inch or two inside are the most sensitive.”
Still, if there are ways to supersize your junk without clicking on anything in the junk folder in your inbox, most men will at least give them a try. Which is why we’re presenting you with no less than seven below. Take up these strategic positions and win the battle of the bulge every time.
While missionary might be everyone’s basic bedroom move, it’s hands down the worst contender for making the most of your member. It’s been proven time and again, she just won’t feel as much.
But switching just one aspect can make all the difference. “Swap the basic [position] for the slip’n’slide,” says Knight. “It’s missionary with a twist. Instead of opening her legs, [keep] them shut for a snugger fit during penetration, and change the angle by turning her knees.”
The Pillow Talk
Another missionary variation, this one brings in a prop that’ll pimp your package – and no it doesn’t come with batteries. “By lifting her pelvis with a few pillows underneath, you introduce an angle that’s perfect for stimulating the G-spot and sensitive front walls – a fast-track to O-town”. For an extra enhancement, get her to squeeze her thighs together, as your bodyweight will intensify the sensation.
The Standard Doggy
Doggy style was actually voted Britain’s favourite sex position, and the that fact it makes you feel bigger can’t have hurt its rep. “Allowing for deeper penetration that will rub against the G-spot, going canine in the sheets also means your hands are free to play – ideal, as 70 to 80 per cent of women need more than just straight-up penetration to get off,” says Knight.
The Hound Dog
Bored with doggy? Knight recommends taking it up a notch with The Hound. “Keep her on all fours but lower her onto the elbow rather than palms, which in turn arches her back – meaning it feels like it’s in even deeper.” Want an extra push? Ask her to grind rather than bounce.
The Slippery Mermaid
Mentioning water sports in the bedroom doesn’t always mean what you think – getting down to it aqua-style doesn’t involve any additional bodily fluids. We’re talking about a position called the Slippery Mermaid.
“The woman is on top [facing away] with her legs pressed together between his. She supports her weight with her hands and has him slide in between her legs as he enters. Since he is on the bottom, he can thrust extra deep and she will get stimulating benefits from being on top.”
The Cold Shoulder
This is one cold shoulder that will actually get you laid. Ask her to lie on the bed, with you kneeling in front, then rest both of her legs on one of your shoulders. Then, slide her feet down to your chest. Put one foot on each of your pecs, and alternate rocking side-to-side and up-and-down. “Any position where she’s got her legs raised narrows the vagina – ensuring you’ll feel bigger” says Knight.
Trying to impress a newer partner? Skip the complicated yoga moves and go for something simple that gets results. Ask her to lay on her back on something that’s lower than your groin, grab her bum and then tilt her toward you. Knight’s a big fan: “This angle will hit the g-spot however big your package, and trust me when I say that’s more important than hitting the back of her cervix. Plus, if she squeezes her thighs, you’ll get a tighter fit, all the better for bulking up your bulge.”